little bits & pieces

Note to Self || If I Could Go Back

Saturday, November 14, 2015
Happy Saturday!! So I have been putting this together for awhile now because there are certain things I wish I knew before hand to let me know and to just give me hope or peace of mind. It's important to know to trust yourself and know you're not alone in this crazy journey of finding what kind of mom YOU are. Every mom is different and handles things differently so you have to sort through the advice of all your mom friends and find what's right for you. That being said here's my FYI's and advice...

Photography by: Natalie Schutt
> First off, Check your insurance! Don't assume that your doctor, anesthesiologist or nurse for the baby are covered under your plan just because your hospital is. Some places trick you, so make sure you ask questions and make sure that EVERYONE that will be helping is covered so you don't get a surprise bill! I avoided this because I read the same advice so I'm just passing it along! 

> Do NOT read What to Expect When Your Expecting unless you want to be scared! If you want to read a good book that will help you be more confident, try The Happiest Baby on the Block. They also have a movie style of the book that I heard is good as well.

Labor is not as bad as you think. And I don't mean stress wise because it's stressful hoping you have a healthy delivery, part of being a parent. However, pain wise...our bodies are made to give birth and whether your on meds or not (I prefer on meds but that's me), it's the recovery that's hard and painful. Especially if you don't take it easy.

> DO wake a sleeping baby until they return to birth weight, don't listen to the myth of not waking a sleeping baby. The baby needs to be woken up to gain weight, help build your supply and clear the bilirubin out!

> It's ok to sit on the couch all day and recover, try to let yourself. You just pushed or had major surgery to have a baby come out of you, treat it as nothing less. Hint: use the cold ice packs for your lady parts to ease swelling and pain.

> Don't be scared of the healing newborn belly button, it will bleed a little and become dark. It doesn't have any feeling once it starts healing and peeling off so don't think your hurting your baby if you accidentally rub it, flipping down the top part of the diaper helps. It's just important to not get it wet (hence why there's no bathing until it falls off) and to keep it from getting infected. 

> They will cry, a lot, it will stop...put them down for a minute and get water or something...then go back and try to soothe again. Sometimes they just want to cry because they need you to figure out what's wrong. However, If it's insane crying or they are puking then you might have a colicky or reflux problem. Good news is reflux can be fixed and get better but having a colicky baby is going to take a lot of patience.

> You'll get better at listening to the crying for a little longer if you have to get yourself food, use the restroom or are driving and can't pull over right away. It'll get easier to handle, don't worry.

> The first six to eight weeks have a lot of milestones, just lower your head and power through them! That phase will end and get easier.

> Babies don't fall asleep just because you feed them, Although breast milk does have a calming property that makes them sleepy. It might take many more steps before they want to sleep, but they will. Just keep going through your pattern of gas pushes, boob/food, diaper check, temperature check (Pey liked to be in front of the fan when she was hot), bouncing/swing, change of scenery (they can have sensory overload)...etc. Biggest thing to know is that just because something didn't work the first time around, doesn't mean that's not what they want or need!

> If you are breastfeeding, I know it feels like your nipples are going to fall off or wondering if it's always going to feel like this and you just get used to the pain?! Not the case, well kinda, at about two months my nipples finally got used to everything and I no longer would need to jump or make an AH! sound. I'm assuming this will only last until she gets teeth, eek!

> As a new mom you might forget to do certain things like: changing their diaper before putting them to sleep or forgetting to burp them. I know it took me a little to get used to all the new steps so don't worry too much. 

> You will make mistakes, the worst part of that is that you will remember them but they won't.

> A trip to Target can be liberating, don't worry, you're not a bad mom if you're not a mess when you leave your baby for the first time. Same goes for the opposite, it's totally normal to also be a wreck leaving your baby for the first time. Everyone is different!

> Prego brain is a real thing but mommy brain is just straight Alzheimer' won't remember anything! Not even kidding, I forget things in the microwave, I forget where my phone is, texting or calling people back just doesn't happen and I can't remember to get my car I go inside to get them but forget why I did until I get back in the car again! Talk about a 5 second rule. 

> Don't buy a ton of newborn or 0-3 month clothes, you've heard this before but fo'reals. Peyton lived in onesies because they are the easiest to get her in and out of and for easier changing. I was just learning how to change a diaper with one hand, I can't be trying to take her pants, bows, romper off at the same time! Don't get me wrong, I put a bow on her and dressed her up a few times but they all had easy snaps and the bows came off as soon as she was back at home or out of sight. Oh and don't buy a lot of shoes unless they are size 2, it's ok and cute to buy a few crib shoes (newborn) but don't buy too many because they out grow them so fast!! Size 1 has been working for her at 3 months but she's almost grown out of them and when they are so new you don't take them out that much anyway, at least I didn't.

> Sweating all the time doesn't stop when the babies born, you will get hot flashes while feeding or if she starts getting fussy whether your in public or not. It's fun.

> Just when you start getting a little more time to yourself because she's sleeping longer, stage 3 month koala bear comes around. Around this time you will see how much your baby has become all about mommy and not so much daddy. She knows my drill now and will hold on to a piece of my clothing so I can't put her down without waking her, if she falls asleep. Sneaky sneaky girl.

>When you go out with the baby to run errands or do anything, you won't realize how exhausted and stressful it all was on you until you get home! It's like your body is in fight or flight mode the second you leave the house but you have no idea it did...I've had my days where I could throw up I'm so exhausted! So don't schedule too much in one day for yourself but also because it disrupts your babies natural need to sleep at certain times. This will cause a overly tired, fussy baby! 

> A big one, pre make food and freeze it!! Seriously! Do it! You get SOOOO hungry all the time, it's like your hunger has come to get it's 10 months back of eating!

> Worrying whether your baby is still breathing doesn't stop, even if she's laying directly on me, I still check to make sure she's breathing!

> Prepare your heart. All of a sudden you will feel everything, it will consume you. Their happiness, frustration, sadness, will feel everything. It all makes sense now, why my mom still cares soooo much about staying safe. The worrying never scary!!

> Lastly,  No matter how bad it gets and how tired you are, take a breath and know that there is ALWAYS an end to every stage! So just push through!

I definitely took for granted a lot of my freedoms before baby came, like I never thought I would have to control when I went number 1 versus number 2. It needs to be planned out or you will have to hold the baby whilst on the toilet, no joke it's already happened ( I get embarrassed when people know it too in the stalls next to me). Same goes for putting Pey in front of the TV or putting her favorite sing along song on my phone for her to watch. I never got why parents did this because it seemed like the easy way out, welllll I get it now. You all need to read this article that one of my mommy groups posted, Scary Mommy, it couldn't be more accurate and hilarious! In the end I am learning the hard way that I need to do what's best for my child, regardless of others opinions or what they think I should do. It does take a village but you decide when you need that village to help!
2 comments on "Note to Self || If I Could Go Back"
  1. Hi! I recently started following you on IG (I don't even know how I found you! Lol) but I'm truly inspired by what you do and all the great things that are happening to you this year. I would love to know the love story behind you and your finance. Not sure if you've blogged about it but I think it would be a great addition to your blog posts especially since you're newly engaged! Congrats and hope to read about it in the future!

    1. Thank you so much!! I will be posting that for sure since we are getting married :)


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