little bits & pieces

Just you and me : Our First Mothers Day

Friday, May 6, 2016
My Darling girl-

It's our first mommy day together and I know you won't remember it or even know why i'm smothering you with more kisses than usual. Regardless, I wanted to write to you and tell you how special you make me feel. Yes you, who was squirming around in my tummy last year at this time and is right now squirming out of my arms to get down and crawl after the poor puppies. To say time is flying by would be a vast understatement. I originally came into this holiday thinking like the old me, the old me that would love any excuse to pamper herself and have a few cocktails with friends by the beach exchanging gossip. That was then, although tempting, it can wait because it's about us now. Of course your dad is always with us and loves you dearly but no one knows your little details or notices the tiniest of changes more than me.

Through ten months and two days of growing you, feeling your slightest moves and even things that would seem to annoy you, like when you got hiccups, I know you. A little scratch from brushing up against the woven basket, a bruise on your right shin because you always lead with your right leg when crawling over things like the dog gate. I know the differences between your cries, whether you want to be hugged, need a nap, getting frustrated or you're in pain. I know every new smile or scrunch of your face or when you sleep 5 minutes longer than normal. Recently you have been saying mama only while you're crying from your crib. I sit there watching you on the monitor, wondering if you know what you are saying and why you only say it now when dada gets to hear his name all day long.  It has to be because when you need me most you are going to call for me, when you are hurt or scared you want your mommy and that couldn't make me feel more special.

Mothers Day, for me, isn't going to be about pampering myself or spending time away from you, this year anyway lol. It's another day, besides the day of your birth, that I celebrate you and what you have contributed to my life without knowing. I promise to always be that mom that wipes your dried boogies and left over food on your face with a wet finger, I promise to always try to leave little notes in your lunch box and surprise you with lots of mommy and me time. I promise to always be goofy and make a fool of myself just to hear the sound of your laugh and see that infectious smile. These promises will be the easiest and most important promises of my life because being your mother is the most important thing I've done.

So today, instead of wanting to get my chipped nails done or my hair fluffed and cut that is about a year over due, I want to spend this day with you. Our first mothers day together and while you are still at this stage of clinging to me for dear life, I want to soak you up and take this day to treasure US.

Happy First Mommy and Me day Peyton Mackenzie, I love you more than all the waves in the ocean and all the sand in the world.

1 comment on "Just you and me : Our First Mothers Day"
  1. Hi Lorin, best wish for u and ur little angle :).
    I've been wanting to become like u. This is amazing!


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